Sexually blind friends are like blind dates: they’re so rare, so out of reach, that many of us have a hard time getting them.
That’s why we need to start dating blind.
In this special series, Wired contributor Alexia Riggs explores what happens when sexless friends start dating, why it can be difficult for you to find them, and how to find a date who knows how to date with blind friends.
What’s a Sexless Friend?
What do sexless dates actually mean?
When you’re dating, it’s easier to just hang out and have sex.
But if you’re sexless, there are some risks to sexless dating.
There are, after all, many sexless people in your life.
So what can you do if you want to date someone who doesn’t have sex, but is open to your ideas?
To help you find a sexless friend, Wired writer and sex columnist Amanda Zlotnik offers five tips for dating with sexless strangers.
Ask them out on a date The best way to meet a sex-less friend is by going out with them.
But that’s not always possible.
Sometimes a sexed friend doesn’t want to go out with you.
For this reason, Zlotnick recommends taking her out to dinner.
“The night before you go out, tell her that you’re going to go with her, and then you can go to dinner,” she says.
“You can talk about your ideas and what you’d like to do together, and you can even have sex at dinner.”
“And then after dinner, you can get out of the car, go walk around, and get to know each other a little bit better.”
For more tips on how to get to Know Your Sexless Friends, see Zlotnic’s article, “How to Date With Sexless People.”
Don’t date them online Once you’ve dated a sexful friend, there’s no way you can talk to her online.
She’ll likely say no, or at least deny it.
“So, you’re in the dark,” says Zlotniks.
“There are a lot of reasons why someone might not want to be on a dating site.”
For instance, you might have a strong social anxiety, and that might make it harder for you talk to someone you’d already dated.
Or, a sexable friend might just be intimidated by the idea of you having sex with someone else.
So make sure you keep it simple and don’t ask her to go online.
You can also avoid these pitfalls by taking a date with a sex partner.
If you’re comfortable with that, there isn’t much you can do to avoid a date.
But, if you have a sexlessness problem, you may want to think about what type of sex partner you want.
Zlotnys tips for finding a sexier sex partner are as follows: If you’ve been dating a sexeless friend, make sure that you talk with her in person before going out.
“When you go to a restaurant or go out to a party, make it fun,” says Riggs.
Then you can walk up to her and kiss her and make out. “
Or if you’d prefer to just meet up and go to your place, talk about something else you’re interested in.”
Then you can walk up to her and kiss her and make out.
If she doesn’t like the idea, then you should just say so.
“It’s your choice,” says the sex columnist.
Learn how to meet them face-to-face If you haven’t dated a sexy friend yet, there is a good chance you’ll never find one.
“One of the biggest mistakes people make is to not learn how to communicate with someone face- to-face,” says Liz Schon, a Sexology researcher at the University of Illinois.
“They assume that they’re going through a process of meeting a sex date, and they’re just going to chat for a few minutes and then go home.
And that’s the wrong way to go about it.
“And they might not even care that you don’t like sex. “
Some people are so sensitive about sex, they might be so afraid that you won’t like them that they won’t even try to meet you,” she continues.
“And they might not even care that you don’t like sex.
So when you go on dates, make that clear that you are interested in meeting up and making out.
When they’re uncomfortable, then make sure they understand why.”
Riggs says that’s when it’s important to know your sexless date.
“Once you’ve met up with a person, you have to learn how that person feels about sex,” she explains.
“A lot of sexless women don’t want sex